Are You Okay?
by Mad-like
Summary: Mercedes has a chat with Shelby and one with Blaine.  Takes place right after "Asian F"    Sorry chapter four got duplicated, that's what happens when you write them out of order.
1. Are You Okay?

just had to write this. My girl knocked it out of the park last night.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?"<p>

Of course I'm not okay. Anybody who knows me know I'm not okay. I'm not like this, I'm not a whining crybaby. If I'm clutching my stomach and throwing up maybe, just maybe, I really am sick. But nobody here knows me, they only know the temperamental diva.

"Are you okay?"

Of course I'm not okay. Anybody who looks at me can see I'm not okay. They'd see the sudden weight gain and wonder why. And it was a sudden weight gain, 15 pounds in two weeks. Of course they haven't seen me since the last day of school. It's not like we're friends, like they'd call me up to go to the mall or watch videos. Don't worry, I had a good time this summer. But if anybody saw me, they'd wonder about that, why I'm so tired and can barely move by the end of the day. But nobody here can see me, they only see the fat black girl, who's getting fatter every day.

"Are you okay?"

Of course I'm not okay. Anybody who listens to me can hear I'm not the same. I sound better, richer and more mature. Why? What happened to cause that? They don't know that I have been regenerated. I've spent the summer with someone who knows a swan when he see one, so you ducks can just quack off. But nobody here listens to me anyway, they can only hear Aretha.

"Are you okay?"

Of course I'm not okay. Anybody who cares about me would have asked that question last week, last spring, last year. I haven't been okay since Quinn moved out and stopped talking to me. I haven't been okay since Kurt announced that he was leaving and walked out without saying goodbye. I haven't been okay since Schuester sat there and said nothing when Jesse called me lazy I was okay, for a while, but that's over now. Anyway, nobody here gives a shit about me.

I rubbed my stomach and smiled. Not that I expected anybody to quit to show their support, not that I expected anybody to follow me to make sure I'm alright, but club has been over for hours now and nobody's even texted me. "R U OK". Not even that. Shane was right, I don't have any real friends in Glee Club, not anymore.

Shane. What am I going to do about Shane, the only person at this school who believes in me? No way I'm going to try to pull a Quinn on Shane. He can count and he's not blind. I'll figure that out, I have a little time.

* * *

><p>Shelby Corcoran studied the young black girl sitting opposite her. Something was wrong, that was obvious, but what? "Are you okay?" The girl closed her eyes and clenched her jaw as if fighting back a wave of nausea. Shelby reached for the water bottle sticking out of the girl's half-open purse, tipping the purse over in the process.<p>

A medicine bottle fell out of the purse and rolled to the center of the table. The girl lunged for it, but only succeeding in starting it rolling again, away from her, to the edge of the table, to drop into Shelby's lap. Shelby looked at the bottle. She'd taken these too, 18 years ago. "Do your parents know?"

Mercedes shook her head.

"Your boyfriend, Shane, does he know?"

The girl looked up, panicked. "He's not..." She started crying.

Damn, Shelby thought, this is getting complicated. Okay. If this were Beth, and she was alone, scared and desperate, what would you want someone to do for her? Shelby moved to a chair next to Mercedes and put her arm around her.

"Does the baby's father know?"

"He's gone." she said flatly. "And he's never coming back."

"Gone as in dead, graduated, married?" Please god, don't let the father be a 40 year old man who's taken advantage of this girl.

"Gone as in moved. He went to school here last year and his family moved back to Memphis. He can't come back. I don't want him to come back just because he feels obligated."

"Well, honey, he does have some obligations. That can wait a while though. Do you want me to come with you, when you tell your parents?"

Mercedes looked at her, eyes wide in wonder. "You don't even know me and you'd do that for me?"

"I'm a mother and you're about to join the club." Shelby said smiling. "Here's my number. Call me anytime."

"Your club!" Mercedes suddenly remembered why she had walked in here. "Maybe I won't be able to keep up the with dancing and everything."

"You've got enough to worry about." Shelby said patting her hand. "Let me worry about that. You can sit in a chair and we'll dance around you if we have to."

* * *

><p>McKinley wasn't harder than Dalton, just different. For instance, they teach history differently here. At Dalton they teach world history. It's Europe, Asia, Africa, North and South America on the same timeline. Here Africa and Asia are pretty much ignored. Europe and South American are skimmed over. It's mostly American History. So here it's the Vietnam War whereas Dalton was discussing the French Revolution. That's why he was here late, catching up with the teacher.<p>

He had seen Mercedes talking to Ms. Corcoran when he walked past her classroom so he wasn't surprised to see her walking down the hallway later. She walked briskly until she turned the corner, out of sight of Ms. Corcoran's classroom. Then her pace slowed noticeably. That's what he noticed, how slowly she was walking.

She walked past him without speaking.

"Hi, Mercedes." he called out.

"Hi." she kept walking, a little faster now.

It was easy for him to catch up with her at that pace. "Are you feeling alright?"

She stopped and leaned against the nearest locker.

"Why?" she asked turning to face him.

"Why?" What a strange thing to ask.

"Yes, why are you asking me that? Why would you care?" She didn't sound angry, just interested.

"Because" he thought about it. "I don't know you, but I've never heard you described as a hypochondriac. So I thought maybe you're sick."

"I said I was sick, didn't I?" her deep brown eyes filled with tears, but none of them fell. "I guess they all think I'm a lazy diva, and this was just an act to get out of doing any work."

Blaine broke eye contact. That theory had been discussed.

"Even Kurt?" she asked, her voice quavering a little.

"No, Kurt didn't say that."

"But he didn't contest it either, did he?"

Blaine looked down again. Mercedes blinked and sniffed but she didn't cry. "That's okay." she said with a deep sigh. " I gotta go. I have to meet Shane at 6."

"It's 6:30 now." Blaine observed.

"Shit!" she pulled out her cell phone and called. "He's home already."

"Do you need a ride?"

"Thank you." She was tired and didn't want to have to walk home.

"Let me carry your books." he said taking her bag. She hesitated for a minute and he smiled, trying to make her feel comfortable. "That's what they teach us at Dalton."

"Thank you."

They walked slowly out to Blaine's car. He opened the car door for her, another Dalton thing? They rode to her house in silence. He parked in front of the apparently empty house and jumped out of the car to open her door. She had beaten him to that. She was already leaning out, throwing up on the curb.

* * *

><p>for more on Mercedes' summer see: Sam who? by mariposafria<p>

the swan/duck reference is from The Ugly Duckling - Hans Christian Anderson (ie it was a swan the whole time and he needed to stop hanging around with ducks who kept bringing him down.

FF_2947886_ - Page 5 of 5 - Word Count: 1159


	2. I'll Be Seeing You

Dalton was boarding school but not all of the boys lived there. Some boys, boys who were local, lived at home and commuted. David was one of those boys. Dalton boys were better off than average and David was rich by anybody's standards. His parents traveled a lot so David threw big parties. A lot. Parties were wine flowed like, well, like wine. David was one of Blaine's closest friends so he was at a lot of those parties.

Typically, a girl quickly latched onto Blaine. Alcohol fueled makeout sessions were another feature of David's parties. By the time the girl realized that yes, Blaine Anderson really was gay, it was too late to pick another candidate. That led to lots of talking and drinking. Girls can't hold alcohol the way boys can so Blaine learned the hard way how to tell a girl was about to throw up, and what to do while they were throwing up. You have to keep their hair away from the stream, that's the main thing. So he carefully reached over and pulled Mercedes' hair back and out of the way. When she was done he poured water on a handkerchief and handed the handkerchief to her.

"I'm so embarrassed." she mumbled.

"Don't be embarrassed." she said helping her stand up. "You're either sick or a world class actress. Come on, I'll help you in."

He held her arm and guided her to the front door. She fumbled a minute with the lock and they walked into the dark house. He led her to the sofa in the living room.

"Can I get you some tea or something?"

"Thank you." she waved towards the kitchen in the back of the house.

"Hey, honey! Why's it so dark in here?" He heard a woman whose voice reminded him of his last vacation in the Bahamas.

"Mercedes? Are you still sick?

Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital.

I don't care, this has been going on for weeks now."

Blaine couldn't hear Mercedes' response to all of this. When he came in carrying the tea he did hear Mercedes say. "I'm not sick. I'm pregnant." she started crying. "Oh mama, I'm so sorry."

The woman put an arm around Mercedes. "Oh, honey. Shhhhh. It's going to be okay baby. Shhhhhhh."

It was so wrong for him to be here. He coughed loudly to get their attention. Both women jumped. "Who are you?" the woman asked.

"Blaine." Mercedes said. "He gave me a ride home from school."

"Oh. Thank you Blaine." she took the cup he offered. "If you don't mind..."

"Sure, bye Mercedes, Mrs. Jones." Blaine almost ran from the house. He jumped in his car and noticed her books on the back seat. Damn, he'd have to go back in there. He braced himself, picked up the books and walked back to the front door. Mercedes answered the doorbell.

"Thanks Blaine." She stepped onto the porch. "You asked me if you could help me? Please, don't tell anybody. Including Kurt. Especially Kurt. It'll be obvious soon enough but I need to talk to Shane first. Please?"

"I'd never tell anybody. Trust me. Good luck." he squeezed her arm.

* * *

><p>Mercedes was out of school for the next two days and nobody seemed to miss her. She had quitbeen thrown out of glee club so nobody expected to see her there. Out of glee club seemed to be out of everyone's life, nobody wondered or cared where she was. Of at least they didn't wonder out loud. Blaine found it kind of sad, actually. Nobody would treat a fellow Warbler like that. So on Thursday, when Kurt was in Dayton, he stopped by her house with work she missed in the couple of classes they shared.

"She's in her room, can you please take this up to her?" Mrs. Jones asked, handing him a glass of orange juice. He started up the steps and stopped when she called his name. "Blaine, Thank you for coming over. That's really nice of you."

Mercedes' room wasn't like he'd imagine it would be. People kept calling her a diva so he expected it to be glam and sparkly. Instead it was full of books, books stacked on the floor and overflowing the bookcases. Book on photography, books on philosophy, books on music. And pictures, one whole wall was covered with photographs hanging from wires strung across the wall. Mercedes was sitting cross-legged on the bed, wearing pajamas even though it was only 5pm, looking at a music book.

"Hi, Blaine." she said excitedly. She looked much better, she had that glow they talk about pregnant women having.

"Hi. Your mother asked me to give this to you."

"Thank you." she said accepting the glass.

"And I bought the work you missed."

"Yeah, and thanks for that!" She laughed. "Can you stay and visit? I'm bored to tears. Tell me what I missed."

"Okay" he said sitting on the edge of the bed. "First, how are things?"

"I have a lot of things, which ones are you referring to?"

"Are you feeling better?"

"Much. I needed a prescription. I might go back to school tomorrow. Monday definitely. Thank you for asking." Nobody else had.

"And the baby?" he looked at her stomach.

She rubbed her stomach. "They think Jack's going to be okay."

"Jack?"

"I don't know, I just like that name. It's strong, you know? Fearless. You can trust a Jack to take care of things. I don't know, just like it."

"Suppose it's a girl?"

"Jackie. Just as fearless."

"Okay. How's Shane?"

"We're on hold. We're seeing other people, or at least he is, until after. I don't blame him. He didn't seem too upset, at first. Then he saw a picture of Sam. I think he thought he'd look like a fool, if we walked around like he was the father and the baby was white looking. I mean, why should he take on all that? He barely knows me."

"Sam?" Was Sam that blond from the Lima Bean?

"Shit, I must be so lonely that I ramble to whoever walks in the door. Maybe I will wait til Monday to go back to school." she took a sip of the juice. "Sam, last spring. I'm due in January."

"Congratulations?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess it's congratulations. My folks, they were upset, but in the end what can you do? They'll help me as long as I'm in school, I can handle one extracurricular. It's just as well about West Side Story, I wouldn't have the time or energy to do that. Congratulations on that, by the way. I'm sure you'll be great. I'm just singing with Shelby's club."

"Shelby's club?"

"Yes. Shelby, who's Rachel's birth mom by the way, is running a glee club. She's nice." Mercedes smiled thinking about her and picked up the book she had been looking at. "She asked me what was wrong, instead of screaming at me the way Mr. Schuester does. She came over to visit me, and brought me this music to take a look at."

"But what about the dancing? How are you going to do that?"

"I don't have to. Shelby thinks a show choir is like an orchestra. In an orchestra, different people have different jobs. She wants me to be a singer, not a dancer. Dancers she can get elsewhere. You don't yell at the cellist because they can't play the piano, you know? You hire an cellist and a pianist. That's how Shelby sees it. So...How's glee club? Tell them I said hi. Have you started on your performance yet?"

"Not yet, we're still working on West Side Story."

"Must take a lot of time." she frowned.

"I don't know how we're going to get it all done, to tell you the truth." Blaine was really worried about that. They seemed to waste a lot of time during meetings.

"Shelby.." she stopped. "You must be sick of hearing about Shelby. What else is new?"

"Nothing much, school is school. No flaming pianos lately."

"Oh." they seemed to have run out of things to say. Blaine looked over at the photographs. "I took those." she said following his gaze. "Most of those are from Nationals, in New York. You know we went there with no material prepared? And they call me lazy, you'd think that was Schuester falling down on the job. Anyway Shelby thought that was outrageous. She'd never take us to a competition totally unprepared." Mercedes was so glad she had Shelby.

She walked over to stand beside him. He was looking at a picture of Kurt and Rachel in front of Tiffany's. "Yeah, that was the infamous breakfast at Tiffany's. You can have it if you want." She unclipped it from the makeshift gallery. "I had just gotten a really good camera, they didn't even see me."

She pointed out pictures and told him stories about each one. Did she miss the kids in Glee? They didn't seem to miss her very much, but they had been busy with meetings, dance camp, West Side story practice.

"That's Sam." She pointed to a picture of a smiling blond with a big grin. "I don't know if you ever met him. Anyway, that's him. Sam Evans from Memphis Tennessee. Sam." she unclipped the picture and carried it back to the bed.

"Did you tell him?" Blaine asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed again.

"Not yet." She stared at the photograph. "My folks, and Shelby, they all think I should call him. He's got a girlfriend down there. He told me about her before he asked her out. I'm happy for him."

Blaine noticed she didn't look very happy.

"If something happened," she looked up at him, "and you couldn't be with Kurt, you just couldn't and it couldn't be helped, wouldn't you want Kurt to be happy? I mean, you wouldn't want Kurt to sit around being sad for the rest of his life, would you?"

"I never thought about it. I'm having a hard time getting past the 'if I couldn't be with him' part." He leaned back on the bed. "I can't imagine what that would be like."

"Before he left, we used to sing to each other, sappy I know." She closed her eyes and smiled at the memory. "There's lot of songs, old songs, about people leaving their lovers and knowing they'd probably never see each other again. People going on explorations, or going from some peasant village to America or going off to war. I think we found every one." She started singing.

I'll be seeing you;  
>In every lovely, summer's day;<br>And everything that's bright and gay;  
>I'll always think of you that way;<br>I'll find you in the morning sun;  
>And when the night is new;<br>I'll be looking at the moon;  
>But I'll be seeing you.<p>

"See, she knows she's never gonna see him again, just like we both knew at the time that we'd probably never see each other again. Or if we did we might be totally different people by that time. There's nothing he can do to help out, why open a can of worms?"

"Cause it's his baby. I'd want to know."

"Well, this is never going to happen to you, is it?"

"Probably not. But what if he finds out some other way?"

"How? If anybody notices that I'm pregnant, and nobody has so far, they'll just assume Shane is the father. They're not going to ask me and they're not going to ask Shane. They'll just gossip behind our backs. I can survive that. If Quinn can I can. Then, after the baby comes, if everything is okay, I'll call him."

Blaine frowned. He'd want to know if it were him.

* * *

><p>I'll Be Seeing You – Jo Stafford<p>

see Sam and Mercedes' Tardis adventure by Jadziwine for the reason why the baby's name is Jack

FF_2947886_ - Page 7 of 7 - Word Count: 2038


	3. Morning Announcements

Shelby Corcoran looked at the material in front of her, the three members of her new glee club. Sugar Motta – long on money, short on talent. Mercedes Jones – long on talent, baby comes first. Tim DeCastro – pretty good singer, band comes first. Alice McKenna - dancer, same band conflict as Tim. She'll be working around Mercedes' doctor appointments, Tim and Alice's band practice, and Sugar's horrendous voice. Luckily Tim and Mercedes are friends, actually Mercedes dragged Tim and Alice in here because they're hoping for that trip to LA when they win Regionals. Tim practices with Mercedes. Alice is on hold until Shelby can get at least one more dancer. But what about Sugar? What does Sugar really want or need? She stared at Sugar.

Currently Sugar was sitting there talking nonsense and blaming it on her Asperger's. Mercedes was rolling her eyes, Alice was writing in a notebook and Tim was drawing in a sketch pad. Shelby had to put a stop to all that and right now.

"Sugar?"

"Yes ma'm?"

"Why do you act this way?"

"Why?" Wasn't it obvious? "Well Asperger's ma'm."

"Did a doctor tell you that?"

"No, Ms. Corcoran. My dad figured it out, said there must be some reason for the way I act. Doctors can't find everything, you know. Why, just the other day-"

"Okay." she interrupted. "Sugar, would you like to behave differently? Yes? Then can you write 'Asperger's' on a piece of paper and bring it to my desk?"

"Okay." This was confusing all three kids thought.

"Sugar, this is what we're going to do with your Asperger's. As long as you're in this room, Asperger's goes here." She put the piece of paper in the shredder. Sugar gaped. "Did you see what I just did? In this room, no more Asperger's. Understand? You're going to focus, and listen, and learn while you're in this room." Sugar nodded. "Does anybody else have something they want to shred? Some label people have pinned to you that doesn't apply?"

Mercedes wrote "lazy" on a piece of paper. She didn't see what Tim or Shelby wrote on theirs.

Now, Shelby thought after the papers were shredded, how do we use Sugar's money?

* * *

><p>Morning announcements.<p>

**Monday**

Principal Figgins was droning on about something inane, something about a sponsor for the morning announcements, when the music started. Tina looked up. Clashing guitars. Sugar Motta, dressed all prim and proper, strode confidently to the microphone. That's sad, Tina thought, that girl can't sing for shit. Sugar started to sing.

_I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_  
><em>You're living in the past it's a new generation<em>  
><em>A girl can do what she wants to do and that's<em>  
><em>What I'm gonna do<em>  
><em>An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation<em>

Not bad. Not exceptional but she didn't embarrass herself either. "You're only 17 once." Sugar was saying. "Are you going to waste it worrying about people you won't know 10 years from now?" she started singing. "Or do you wanna have fun? Fun. Fun?" On pitch. That Shelby must be a magician. "Come join us in room 307 – that other glee club."

**Tuesday**

Blaine saw Mercedes' friends Tim and Alice playing the guitar, on stage at a coffee house, backed by Mercedes and Sugar. Tim started singing.

_She wore a raspberry beret_  
><em>The kind you'd find in a second hand store<em>  
><em>Raspberry beret<em>  
><em>If it was warm, she wouldn't wear much more<em>  
><em>Raspberry beret<em>  
><em>I think I love her<em>

"Principal Figgins wanted us to remind you all of the dress code. It's been warm but please, put on some clothes. And join us at that other glee club, room 307."

**Wednesday**

Finn saw those guitarists from the backing band, Tim and Alice he thought their names were, singing lead, backed by Mercedes and Sugar. Only Tim was singing,

_It's poetry in motion_  
><em>She turned her tender eyes to me<em>  
><em>As deep as any ocean<em>  
><em>As sweet as any harmony<em>  
><em>Mmm - but she blinded me with science<em>  
><em>"She blinded me with science!"<em>  
><em>And failed me in biology<em>

"Reminder – sign up for AP Chem prep classes is in Mr. Dolby's room, room 157 if you've wiped it from your memory. Don't forget to bring protection." Sugar poked him in the ribs and they both laughed. "I'm talking safety glasses! Brought to you by that other glee club, room 307."

**Thursday**

Mr. Schuester saw Mercedes, glowing, backed by Tim, Alice and Sugar.

_And who cares if you disagree_  
><em>You are not me<em>  
><em>Who made you king of anything<em>  
><em>So don't dare tell me who to be<em>  
><em>Who died<em>  
><em>And made you king of anything<em>

_All my life_  
><em>I've tried<em>  
><em>To make everybody happy while I<em>  
><em>Just hurt<em>  
><em>And hide<em>  
><em>Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide<em>

"It's your turn to decide. Are you going to follow your own dreams or stay chained to somebody else's? Stop hiding and join us at that other glee club. Room 307."

**Friday**

Sugar started up.

_would you think if I sang out of tune?  
>Would you stand up and walk out on me?<br>Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,  
>And I'll try not to sing out of key.<em>

A little wobbly, Santana thought, but she hit every note. Mercedes, Alice and Tim joined in on the chorus. The camera pulled back to show 10 kids in room 307 singing,

_We get by with a little help, with a little help, with a little help from our friends_.

"There's still room for you! Join us at that other glee club, where you don't have to be perfect to belong. Room 307." Sugar said.

"Be there!" Alice said.

"Or be square!" Tim laughed.

"Or round, if that's how you roll." Mercedes said laughing.

* * *

><p>"Okay, spill. How did she pull that off?" Blaine was sitting in Mercedes' room, having stopped by to drop off some work she missed.<p>

"I'll tell you, but first, how's _West Side Story_ going?"

Blaine frowned. "Rachel loves to practice. Over and over and over. I guess with NYADA and all it's critical to her, but the rest of us are in it for fun."

"And how's Kurt taking the whole thing?"

"Good, he's good. A little quiet but good."

"Hmmm." Kurt being quiet, that's not good. "Okay, so anyway, Shelby looked at what she had - Sugar's money, my voice, and Tim's sex appeal. Evidently guitarists are considered sexy and he was pretty full of himself before he heard that. You should see him now. Alice used to be a dancer before she started playing. So she used Sugar's money to buy the announcement sponsorship. She guessed Sugar just wants to stand in front of the microphone so we let her do that. Sugar's not tone deaf, you know, she can sing a little. Shelby thinks nobody's hopeless and it turned out she was right, she could do something with Sugar's voice. Tim comes over here to practice, Sugar's been here a couple of times. Shelby doesn't mind working around me and Tim, unlike some people who want to suck up all your free time."

"Bitter much?" Blaine asked laughing.

"Who, me? So... how's glee club?"

He wished he could tell her that people missed her, but they didn't seem to. "It's good." He lied. It's atrocious he wanted to say. He'd never seen so much fighting and so little working.

"Yeah, sure. Alice's in band and standing right there, you know. So is Tim. When I asked him to join glee, before" as in before I got kicked out she thought "he said Schuester's too disorganized and wastes too much time. Said he's only got so many hours in his life and he didn't want to spend them watching people fight. Like I said, Shelby works around us. She spends a lot of time working with Sugar and the dancers. We have a lot of dancers and they need to work as a group." she grinned. "Shelby, Shelby, Shelby. I must sound like I have a girl-crush."

"Shelby helped you when you needed it. I guess that's when you find out who's a friend."

She smiled. "She kinda saved my life. I had just come from the clinic, that's why I was late for practice that day. I just found out and was panicking. I really didn't know what to do, and then Schuester started yelling at me, and everybody just stood there and stared at me. Shelby, and you, helped me a lot that day. Thank you." She reached over a picked up a stuffed animal. "See this, it's a swan. Shane saw it at the mall and bought it for Jackie. Wasn't that sweet?" Mercedes didn't want to know if the baby was a boy or girl so she used Jack and Jackie interchangeably.

"So you guys are back together?" He asked looking at the swan.

"No. He stopped by to tell me he's found a new girlfriend. Like I said, I can't expect him to sign up for all this. He wanted me to hear it from him and he wanted to give me the swan, for Jack."

"Don't you think..." He paused. "Don't you think Sam should be hearing from you? I mean, what if he finds out accidentally? Won't he be upset?"

"I talked to Sam the other day." she said with a small smile.

"Really?" Blaine sat down on the edge of the bed. "What did he say when you told him?"

"I didn't." She saw the disapproving look on his face. "I started to. I really did. Then he told me about his new girlfriend, and how happy he was, and how he had his whole future planned out. Listen, I know what you think but financially, I don't need his help and his family can't afford it anyway. Emotionally, I need to let that whole thing go. It's done and over. Physically, there's going to be plenty of people around to hold my hand when the time comes, and after. There's nothing he can do from Memphis."

* * *

><p>When she left school the next day, she saw Kurt standing outside the auditorium. Just standing there leaning against the wall. Mercedes stopped outside the auditorium door and opened it a crack. Practice for <em>West Side Story<em>. The entire cast was on-stage for the party scene where Tony meets Maria.

"Do it again!" Coach Bieste yelled. Mercedes could see Kurt flinch from where she was standing. It had been close to a year since she'd last had a conversation with Kurt that lasted more than 10 seconds but when they had been friends they had been really close friends. She knew him well enough to know he was hurting now.

"Hey." she said stopping to stand next to him.

"Hi, Mercedes. How are you?" he asked absentmindedly.

"Peachy. How about you?"

"Fine. Just fine." They stood there in silence for a few minutes.

"You always were a bad liar. This must be killing you."

He stared at her with that watery, trying not to cry look of his.

"On the one hand." she continued "you want to be supportive of Blaine, on the other hand you really wanted that role. One the one hand, he's doing a good job, on the other hand he's kissing Rachel, over and over again. On the one hand-"

"Is there some point to this?" he asked softly.

She held his hand. "Yes, there is. I know how you feel. I really do. They think you're too girly to be believable as a romantic lead. They think I'm too fat. That hurts. Only you have to factor in Blaine and that makes it even worse for you. And you feel like you can't talk to him about it because he came here trying to make you happy." He was smiling weakly at her. "I know things aren't like they used to be between us, and they never will be again, but you can call me if you want to talk some time."

"Thank you. I've been an ass to you, and you're being so nice. Thank you." he hugged her. She really had put on a lot of weight lately.

"Life's short, you know? You don't want to waste a lot of time. Plus, I wanted to ask you something." she pulled away from his embrace. "Now, you can say no if you want, remember that."

"What is it?"

"Well," she started slowly, "Shelby is having a fund raiser for Beth's nursery school. It's mostly Shelby singing but she said we could sing. Sugar's getting bored with the whole choir thing already and said no, Tim agreed but a paid job for his band came up. Shelby didn't mind, this is just for practice, not a requirement of anything, she's not going to kick him out over it. So anyway I'm doing a couple of songs when she's on break. And I thought, we haven't sung together in years, so..." she grinned at him. "The theme is Great American Songbook. I thought you, me, Ella Fitzgerald, Judy Garland. I've always loved your Garland."

"When is it?" he smiled a real smile this time.

"Sunday night. The same Sunday as _West Side Story_ but after the matinée. Assuming there's no cast party of anything you'd be able to make it." She could hear rehearsals breaking up. "Think about it."

The cast flowed by her like a river. They said 'hi' in Kurt's general direction and since she was standing next to Kurt she could take that as a hello if she wanted to. Guilt over the way she'd been treated had been replaced with self-righteous indignation over her treacherous (in their eyes) behavior that resulted in Shelby adding 6 more members in her glee club. That, plus any Cheerios Shelby needed for dance numbers, gave her more than enough people to compete. Turns out Coach Sylvester has nothing against the arts, it's just that pissing off Mr. Schuester is her hobby. Schuester was stuck at 11 members.

Only Blaine and Shane stopped to say hello to her and that was better than good. "You bring Dinah Washington and I'll bring Jimmy Scott." Kurt said before he left with Blaine.

"Jimmy Scott? Bring it on!" she called after him.

* * *

><p>Bad Reputation – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts<br>Hey Big Spender – Sweet Charity (play)  
>Raspberry Beret - Prince<br>She Blinded Me with Science -Thomas Dolby  
>King of Anything – Sara Bareilles<br>With a Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Note: Jimmy Scott is a male jazz singer with a particularly wide range, the kind of stuff Kurt should be singing, in my opinion.

FF_2947886_ - Page 9 of 9 - Word Count: 2416


	4. To Have and Have Not

Mercedes lay in the hospital bed listening to the beep beep beep of the fetal monitor. Beep beep beep. Was it her imagination or was there a slight pause between two of those beeps? She listened carefully. Beep beep beep. No, it's nothing. Ten minutes later it happened again. The nurses had explained how this was all a formality, and in any case they can monitor everything from the nurses station. It was nothing. Another pause, longer than the other time. She buzzed the nurse, no harm in checking.

"Yes, Mercedes, that's perfectly normal. You can call anytime but-" this time the baby's heart skipped a beat and a buzzer went off. Then all hell broke loose. Nobody panicked, but they definitely snapped to attention and moved with a brisk efficiency.

"My mom-"

"She's just went to the cafeteria. She's on here way up now."

"It's too early. I have to wait another 3 weeks."

"Looks like somebody's got their own plans." An oxygen mask was put on her face. "Come on darling, it's showtime!"

* * *

><p>When she woke up she was sitting on a pier. This must be real, the water was warm against her legs. She could see her feet, the fish in the water, the rocks on the lake floor. She could feel the wooden pier against the back of her legs. She could feel the touch of a familiar hand in hers, she looked at the muscular legs covered in blond peach fuzz.<p>

"Hey, darling." Sam said.

"Where are we baby?" she asked looking into those familiar green eyes, that same big grin.

"I don't know. I've never been here before." He leaned over and kissed her. "How are you feeling?"

"I think I'm dead."

He laughed and looked around again. "I don't think so. It's a harbor. See that boat way out there?"

"Take off your shirt." she said urgently.

"You don't have to ask me twice!" he pulled off his shirt and threw it in the water.

She pulled in into an embrace, kissing him while running her hands up and down his back. She'd made a mental map of his back, of his whole body. She felt the scar from surgery he'd had as a kid. She felt the area around his shoulder blades carefully.

"Looking for the stubs from my wings?" he kissed her again, this time his tongue probing her mouth. "I'm no angel, darling." Then he did a weird thing. He slide out of focus, for just a second.

When he came back into focus they were naked, laying on a blanket in a field of wildflowers. Mercedes didn't look around, she just looked at Sam. They started to make love, like the last time they'd made love. That had been on their "Reverse Honeymoon", the day he left Ohio. Reverse Honeymoon, an ending, not a beginning. That time, they'd gone slowly, as if they controlled the pace of time. As if the longer they held out the more time they'd have together.

Of course, time flows in one direction at a constant speed. Of course, they were 17 years old and couldn't hold off forever. When she was done, and he was done, they held each other and cried. Then they got dressed and went to the airport. This time was like that time, only when they were done Sam laughed victoriously, like he'd just won a prize. He was ecstatically happy and he kissed her breasts. First the left then the right. Then he licked her nipples and said "You're going to need those!" Then he slide out of focus again.

They were sitting on a park bench in Lima. She recognized it right away because they used to watch the sunset from here, back when they were happy. Today they were watching the sunrise. They hardly ever did that.

"Do you remember the last time we watched the sunrise together?" he asked her.

"Yes. You said it was something you never wanted to see, the sun rising on our last day together." she clenched his hand, hard. She didn't know why but she knew she needed to.

"I'm sorry I left you, darling."

"I know you couldn't help it, baby." she squeezed his hand again, even harder.

"I'm still sorry. You've been so alone. I love you."

"I know. I love you to." Squeeze. Hold. Release.

"Mercy, I have go again. But if you every need me, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you?"

"You're quoting old movies?" she said laughing. "Lauren Bacall to Humphrey Bogart in To Have and Have Not. Just put your lips together and...blow."

Sam pressed his lips against hers and blew softly into her mouth. "I love you, darling." He was looking at her, he was looking though her, he was looking past her. "Oh my God! That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen! You did that? It's beautiful!"

She turned her head to see what he was looking at. Nothing. She turned back to look at him. Nothing. He was gone for good this time.

* * *

><p>When she woke up she was in the hospital. Her mom on wiping her face with a washcloth. "Merry Christmas, sunshine." Her mother was smiling, happy.<p>

"Hi, mama. Everything okay?"

"Better than okay." her mother kissed her forehead. "Want to see?" She picked up the baby from the bassinet next to Mercedes. "Meet Jack Samuel Evans Jones." She kissed the baby. "And you can call her mama."

FF_2947886_ - Page 4 of 4 - Word Count: 959


	5. Nationals!

Nationals in LA! Mercedes never thought she'd be at Nationals again. After last year's fiasco this year was a breeze, their presentation went perfectly, she wouldn't have changed a single thing. As usual, Will's team engaged in a lot of last minute foolishness before settling on a Rachel/Blaine duet. Big surprise there. Actually, the big surprise was how little chemistry Blaine and Rachel have together. On the other hand, they didn't have to worry about an ill-timed kiss, that was for sure. Their presentation was professional, cold but professional. Shelby's team pulled out one of the four songs they had prepared weeks ago. Shelby's team was polished, prepared and happy and it showed on stage. There was nothing to do now but wait for the judges, which was something she could do in her mom's hotel room while playing with Jack. She was waiting for the elevator when a pair of hands covered her eyes.

"Guess who?" a familiar voice asked.

"I give up. Who?"

"Guess again!"

She felt the hands covering her eyes. She had mapped those hands! "Sam!"

"In the flesh. Hey darling." he drawled.

She kissed him like she had the last time she saw him, like she'd never expected to kiss him again. He was back! But wait a minute! She took a step backwards. "Why are you here?"

"I sing you know. I'm in a club representing Tennessee. Probably didn't notice me, in the back row with brown hair."

"And your girlfriend?" Yes, he had Jack's hair.

"That kind of fell apart. I guess there's only one girl for me and she lives in Ohio." He looked at her new, slimmer body. "I almost didn't recognize you up there on stage. I liked your curves but I could get used to this. I've got a summer job lined up in Lima. See, you can't get rid of me!"

"Sam..." she started.

"There's somebody else, isn't there?" He looked devastated. "Hell, why did I just assume you'd be free? Look at you! I'm sorry for pawing all over you." He looked down and then back into her eyes. "Is he good to you? That's all that matters, that you're happy."

"He makes me very happy." she said smiling.

"Well then, that's that." He started to walk away. "Well, it was nice seeing you again. Tell you folks I said hi."

"My mom's here as a chaperone. You can say hi yourself. Come on up!"

Sam could think of a hundred things he'd rather do than be in a hotel room with this beautiful girl who has a boyfriend. But she looked so excited, and her mom would be there. "Okay."

They stared at each other in the mirror while they rode up in the elevator. He was a little heavier, or maybe it was muscles. His hair was brown, cut and styled, not long and wild like before. She was thinner, not skinny but definitely thinner. Her hair was shorter, softer. She looked like she'd aged more than the almost year since he'd seen her. Not aged, matured.

"You haven't been sick, have you?" he asked.

How do I tell him this? How do I tell him this? "What?"

"The weight. You haven't been sick, have you?"

"Yes, I was sick for a while. I'm okay now."

"How long ago? When you were sick, how long ago?"

"Around Thanksgiving, Christmas. Like I said, it's all over now." Stop asking me questions.

"That's when I called you to ask how you were. Around Thanksgiving was when I told you about Shanna."

"I remember." She said noncommittally.

"That was dumb. Why would you want to hear about that?" He wondered what her boyfriend looked like. "Is your boyfriend a football player, like that other guy?"

"No, he's short." She was smiling just thinking about him.

"Short? Shorter than you?"

"Yes. This is my floor." She knocked on the door and her mother answered. "Mom, you remember Sam."

"Sam?" her mother looked shocked, and then happy. "It's really good to see you again." She hugged him. "Really good." She said something to Mercedes and left. Sam couldn't believe she was leaving already. Mercedes was picking up something on the other side of the bed.

"Sam, meet Jack. Jack Samuel Evans Jones."

* * *

><p>Sam tried to process the thoughts running through his brain. He was a father. A father! Evidently he's been one for four months and he didn't know it. Shouldn't he have felt something? Jack was beautiful. He was laying in Mercedes' arms as she did what the very first mother did for the very first baby. This beautiful brown woman was holding a golden tan baby to her breast and he was drinking. Now that was a miracle, right there, that she knew how to do that. And that slight edge of tension he'd noticed earlier seemed to be draining from her. Of course she had a lot to be tense about, she'd been keeping a hell of a big secret from him for a hell of a long time.<p>

Here" she said handing him the baby.

Sam stared at the gurgling baby. The baby stared back with big green eyes. "His name is Jack? Who's he named after?"

"Nobody, He's just Jack."

"Just Jack. And the reason you didn't tell me is..."

"First off, I didn't know, not for a long time. But when I started to get suspicious, I was with Shane and..."

"So you and Shane?"

"Yes, twice. I'm sorry."

Well, it's not like she was cheating on him. They had agreed to break up when he left. It's not like he hadn't slept with his girlfriends. He just didn't like to think of someone else touching her that way. He tried to look supportive. "It's okay. Go on."

"I think I was trying to recreate what we had. We used protection but anyway, about a month after that I missed my period. They'd been light all summer but I didn't think anything of it, but this was a miss. So I took a pregnancy test, which was positive, and we went to the clinic."

_The nurse looked at the couple sitting opposite her. Normally she didn't see many boys. Of course, there was always a boy involved but most of them seemed to think an unplanned pregnancy was the girl's problem. This boy in the football jacket had his arm around the heavy girl. Was she always this heavy or is that from the pregnancy? The boy was talking marriage, the girl was talking options. Options is typically code for a potential abortion. They think she's 6-8 weeks pregnant._

_"So when is the due date?" the boy asked._

_"January 25th, according to the sonogram." the nurse answered._

_"January 25th?" they both asked._

_"Plus or minus two weeks."_

_"That's like, three months from now!" the girl said shocked._

_"That can't be right." the boy said._

_Damn, the nurse thought, he's not the father and they both know it. The nurse excused herself from the room but stayed where she could see both of them through the glass wall. That's why the wall as glass in the first place, you'd be surprised how many guys will hit a girl under these circumstance. The girl was crying, the boy put his arm around her and said everything would be okay._

"So Shane was willing to go along with it, be supportive, at first. Then he saw a picture of last year's football team. That changed things, he hadn't realized you were white. That there was no way people would believe it was his baby. Not that we were getting married, we'd just go through the motions until he graduated at the end of the year. He was still nice, nicer than a lot of my so-called friends, but we officially broke up."

"And the reason you didn't call me was..."

"Well, then I got sick, and Shane was the only one who knew why. He took me back to the clinic and they gave me some medication. I was sick as a dog but I dragged myself to practice anyway and Schuester went off on me. He practically called me a fat lazy pig in front of the whole club. And you know who stood up for me? Nobody, that's who! So he's like 'if you walk out now, don't bother coming back'. I walked. Then I saw Shelby in the hallway-"

"Who's Shelby?"

"The other glee club coach. We have two clubs, two coaches. One's competent and the other's an ass."

"Go on." Sam gently stoked Jack's hair. Sam had unbuttoned his shirt and Jack, wearing just a diaper, was laying on his chest. Skin to skin.

"So Shelby had me, Tim who's in band but he's a pretty good singer, Alice, who's a friend from church, also in band, and she dances, and this new girl Sugar. Yes, her name really is Sugar. Sugar's a mediocre singer but she's stinking rich. Also, Coach Sylvester will lend Shelby dancers if she needs them so Shelby's set member wise. Almost nobody knew I was pregnant, just that little glee club, Blaine and Shane. You remember Kurt's boyfriend Blaine? Anyway Blaine found out accidentally. Everybody else just thought I was fat. You remember that sneaky little kid that ran a gossip column in the school newspaper? Somehow he figured it out.

_"Bad news, Mercedes." Tim said at the next meeting of Shelby's glee club. "Jacob asked me to do a sketch for the school paper. Olivia Newton John in the black catsuit like in Grease, pregnant out to there. Well, it was for an article called "Summer Loving" that's all about who got knocked up over the summer. Lots of girls it turns out. But anyway here's the important part. And I quote: "What plus-size diva owes her extra poundage to a summer diet of Tennessee lamb? Cocoa babies? I think not! I'm guessing more like Tupelo honey. She gave him love, love, love, love crazy love." I deleted it so it won't be in this week's paper but it's just a matter of time before it gets printed"_

"But Shelby had thought of that too. She's a genius. She bought a sponsorship for the morning announcements and I sang Danny' Song, kind of like a birth announcement. _People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son._ Except I didn't know it was a boy. Jack or Jackie was all I knew."

"So now the whole school knew. And you didn't tell me because..."

"There were complications, and I got really sick."

"Around Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, around then."

"I called you around then. I asked you if you were okay."

"But then you started talking about how great your life was going. How things were finally falling into place. Your new girlfriend."

"But you could have told me then." He was starting to get upset with her endless string of excuses. But the baby became restless so Sam softened his voice and took a few deep breaths until Jack settled down. "You should have told me then."

"Yes, I should have, but then I got sick again."

_Mercedes was laying in bed, listening to Kurt ramble. Shelby's fundraiser had been fun, he wanted to do another one. Blaine had the brilliant idea of finding out what charities the board of NYADA supported and donating money to them. Time it right, Blaine had said, and the donation and your application hit their desk at the same time. Kurt wouldn't shut up and she was tired and kept dozing off. _

_"Hey Kurt, I'm really tired. Can I call you back tomorrow?"_

_"Sure. Are you sure you don't want me to come over and keep you company till your folks get back from Columbus? I don't mind. I could sneak out right now."_

_"If you were sneaking out my house is the last place you'd come." she said laughing. "I'll call you later."_

_Later turned out to be 3 hours later._

_"Hey, Kurt." she whispered into the phone. "can you-" He heard the phone drop to the floor. When she woke up he was sitting next to her in the ambulance._

"It was too early, they gave me something to stop the labor and I was in the hospital for three weeks. Then there was no holding him back. He came about a month early."

"So you had three weeks to call me. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. Shelby and my mom nagged me about it constantly. I just...I just didn't."

"Were you very sick?"

"Yes. I almost died. They said I stopped breathing for a minute or so. But a lot of things they said might happen never did, so..." she trailed off.

"You almost died, having my baby, and you didn't think I'd want to be there?" He was silent for a few minutes, feeling the baby's chest rise and fall against his. "And you lied to me." She opened her mouth to deny it but then changed her mind. "Was he born around Christmas?"

"He was born on Christmas day." She picked up the sleeping baby and put him in the crib. She stood there a minute looking at the baby and then she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I called you right after Christmas. I started to tell you about a dream I had about you. On Christmas eve. You started a fight, practically called me a stalker. Why didn't you tell me then?"

He looked at the woman sitting on the bed, for she was no longer a girl, she was a woman now. Where was this woman hiding his Mercedes? His Mercedes didn't have defenses. Maybe her weight was her shield, it had certainly kept her hidden from him for months. This Mercedes had a fortress built of evasions and half truths, stories that wandered and diverged and doubled back and answered every question except one. Why had she kept this from him?

His Mercedes didn't lie. She was sweet and generous. Her generosity was why they'd started spending time together. Once he really knew her he couldn't help but fall in love with her. She wasn't at all what people thought, she was actually quite meek. She only went off when she felt...felt...

"You must have felt really misunderstood." he said softly.

"What?" Did he say misunderstood?

"The way you describe it, it must have been pretty obvious that you were pregnant. I mean the throwing up and all. You'd think Quinn, at least, would have spotted it right away. But nobody did, because none of them could visualize anybody falling in love with you, wanting to be with you. So they just said the worst thing they had ever thought about you, that you were fat and lazy."

Mercedes looked at him suspiciously. Sam was a good listener, that's one of the things she had loved about him. But no, he'd breached her defenses once and see how that turned out. No, not again.

"And then, when it all came out, people acted like you were a stupid slut. So desperate for affection that you didn't even know who your baby's father was." He moved next to her and put his arms around her. "And the only people who helped you were Shelby and Blaine. 'Cause they didn't really know you so they didn't see you like everybody else did." She started to shiver as he tore down her defenses. "You didn't even have that one safe place in school, the choir room. That was the most painful place. And you couldn't let anybody see how hurt you were, you had to be strong for Jack. And you didn't tell me because..." he paused, waiting for her to supply the answer.

"I was afraid you'd be like them. I thought I could count on them, we were supposed to be friends." she started to cry. "I was afraid you'd say you didn't want to come. I was afraid I didn't mean as much to you and you mean to me. I'd rather not ask and assume you would have if you could than risk hearing you say no."

"Mercedes, I would have moved heaven and earth to get to you, don't you know that? You must have been terrified, and so alone. I love you." he took her hands in his. "Please, never lie, or tell me a half-truth, or pick a fight, because you're afraid to tell me something. Maybe we don't know each other as well as we think we do. My last day of school is June 7th. I'll be on your front step on June 8th. Ready to start over?"

**The End**

That Jacob ben Israel put the pieces together was inspired by Dissonance by iKashii

Tennessee Lamb reference is to – Dixie Chicken (Little Feat)

Tupelo Honey, Crazy Love – title of two songs by Van Morrison

Danny's Song – Kenny Loggins

FF_2947886_ - Page 8 of 8 - Word Count: 2250


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